Confusion

Sometimes I just feel so dreadfully confused. It seems that others tend to get upset or angry with me, although most of the time I'm unsure as to why. Just now my sister stormed out of the room, but I haven't the faintest idea as to why she's upset with me. Perhaps I'm taking things personally when there is no need to? But it happened after I started talking to her....

The worst part about others being upset when you don't know why is that most of the time they're too upset to explain why. Or at least they think that you should know the reason they're upset. It's really frustrating because I don't understand what others want from me, and I feel like I can't even live up to their expectations. It's like unless things are spelled out to me step by step, in a straightforward manner, than I have no idea what's going on. It's hard to communicate this though. I wish everyone just understood this. But they don't. Sometimes I feel like I'm alone in the way I feel.

Speaking of which, I had a discussion with my brother today about being autistic. A few weeks ago my dad (who doesn't know I'm autistic) mentioned that they're trying to make a cure for autism. This immediately offended me, although at the time I wasn't sure why. But I think the thing is, no matter how many difficulties and obstacles I come across as someone who is on the spectrum, I still like being autistic. It's who I am. Without this, the things that make up my personality just wouldn't... be there. More than a cure, I think what the world really needs is more understanding about what autism is, to make things easier for those of us who sometimes find it difficult to communicate what we need. Obviously not every autistic person shares the view that they don't want a cure, but this is just the way I feel.